Author Archives: Pam

PSA #439

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I had a decision to make yesterday at work. Do I go to my car and get the left over German sausage I had brought for lunch that had been in the not so hot car all day, eat at the hospital cafeteria (always risky) or eat my week old left over turkey chili that has been in the office fridge. Lets just say I might have made the wrong decision. My tummy is making all sorts of fragrant music today. PSA # 439. Don’t eat week old turkey chili even if it has been in the fridge! I may need these undergarments sooner than later.

Gluttony

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This is a story of gluttony that I am not proud of but felt the need to share. Last night on my late drive home from work, I needed to go by the Tractor Supply store to pick up several bales of hay. I guess needed is a strong word but yes I needed to do this to complete my Halloween decorations. Traffic was horrible and I arrived at the Tractor supply store right at closing time. They were obviously annoyed with yet another suburbanite trying to come in and purchase decorative hay. I ask the 16 year old FFA girl at the register just how big a bale of hay was to determine how much I needed……” uhhhh, mam it is a bale of hay”. My dazed looked signaled to her that I did not know really how big a bale of hay was. She proceeds to draw out the outline of hay with her finger and imaginary canvas. I pretend to understand this and say oh well I just need two then. I go out to the tractor trailer to get my hay and the 16 year old FFA boy loads them up and I realize that I did not understand her drawing and I need more. So I shamefully walk back in and purchase another bale and have to go through the entire loading process again. By this time it is late and I am starving. Whataburger is right up the road. I make a sharp quick turn into the parking lot and realize I have a choice to make. Lane one or lane two, I am not a fan of the lane two business and typically would never choose the far lane but decide it is much shorter I will take my chances. I order a number 6. This is the gluttony part. For those of you that do not frequent Whataburger a number 6 is a double meat Whataburger JR…. contradiction??? Yes I agree. So I pull up wait for my meal and marvel and the little 16 year old employee having to dodge cars to get to the lane two for payment and delivery. She takes my money. I gave her exact change in an effort to speed my order up. I’m there 10 min…. 15 min….. The car behind me gets their food, two large bags and a drink tray full of 4 large drinks. I am again mesmerized at the 16 year old girl risking her life to walk into lane two to deliver our bags of beef and grease. Car three gets their meal and the girl looks at me apologetically, shrugs her shoulders and darts quickly through the lane one traffic. She comes out again and I look at her hopingly and it was not to be, car four gets their food and I frown with disappointment. The 16 year old dare devil senses my desperation for a bag of beef and grease and approaches my window and says I am so sorry mam, they seem to have lost your ticket but I told them you have been waiting for a really long time so they are making your food now. At this point I should have said, this is a sign from God, leave, walk away, and don’t eat the beef and grease! But I look at her with disappointment and humiliation and say “Ok, I will wait”. So when she emerges through the door again, maneuvers through lane one into lane two she is carrying my order. Victory is mine! I avoid eye contact, thank her and drive off. As I’m eating and driving I notice that my double meat Whataburger Jr. has been upgraded to a full size Whataburger double meat with cheese and I have the jumbo-sized bucket load of fry’s that are overflowing in the bag and a complimentary apple pie for my troubles. As I hang my head in shame I finished that entire meal, even doing the last grab at the bottom of the bag for the stray fry before I got home. Sure did! Gluttony or delicious?? Both!!

The Mammogram Story

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So I had a mammogram two weeks ago. They found something and wanted to have a closer look. I wasn’t really worried. I don’t fall in any of the risk categories, I am fairly regular about getting a yearly mammogram (well at least for the last two years anyway). So I get there and find that I don’t have my wallet with me. So instead of worrying about my abnormal mammogram I start worrying about how I am going to eat breakfast and lunch. I go over to the breast center and get undressed and wait for my name to be called. I am looking around and realize they have free coffee, bottled water, cheese, crackers, peanut butter and spicy trail mix. Thank you Women’s Hospital of Texas, I don’t mind if I do. I scarf down a quick cheese or two, crackers, grab a bottled water and stuff more cheese, crackers, peanut butter and trail mix in my purse before anyone joins me in the waiting area. I drank a cup of coffee, which I never do but it was free and smelled good, so I went for it. I get called back about 20 minutes after the squirreling away of food incident and get my first set of pictures done. I noticed my tummy making some weird noises but didn’t really pay any attention. Get two pictures done then go and wait in the very tiny waiting area that is becoming very crowded. The radiologist takes a look and they want three more pictures. I go back and forth to the exam room doing this four times before the mammogram tech says they want an ultrasound. Ok…. So now I am worried, I have eaten cheese too fast and drank coffee which I never do. My stomach is starting to emit a really crazy sound. I sit in the waiting area with wall to wall people waiting for my ultrasound and then it happens. I sneeze so loudly and abruptly that I drop my bag that has all my stolen goods that I have stored away for the winter and I make this really loud obnoxious sound from some part of my body that I don’t’ want to even think of. The packages of trail mix tumble out of my bag and the ladies are all glaring at me. I’m not sure if they are gawking because of the loud obnoxious abdominal noise or the thievery. I say excuse me and awkwardly pick up my loot and sit back down with my head hung in shame. I get called back for my ultrasound and after 15 minutes of lying on the table and thinking that I don’t look good in pink, the tech comes back and tells me I can leave and that everything looks ok. I get dressed, help myself to a Family Circle from the exam room for my troubles and make the walk of shame in front of a room of judgey women and grab another bag of trail mix.

Cancun

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The most romantic part of our Cancun get away was not the upgraded hotel room with an oversized hot tub or waking up to watch the sunrise every morning. It wasn’t the 80 minute couple massage in a beautiful spa. Nor was it lounging all day in a beautiful wooden cabana covered with walls of white cotton sheets, sleeping and drinking what and when we wanted. It wasn’t parasailing together over a glorious sea of blue below us. It wasn’t getting a boat built for two and speeding to the Great Mayan Reef for an afternoon of snorkeling. It wasn’t the dressing up for lavish restaurants and elegant dinners. And surprisingly enough it was not even the twilight time lounging at the beach as the sun faded away with the waves crashing below our chairs. The most romantic part of our getaway came one evening when Reed Brooks noticed an inch long hair on my chin. He gently went to wipe it away when he realized it was attached to my face. He then ever so gently ripped it out and proceeded to tell me how beautiful I looked. There are not many men that can rip a stray hair out of their partners face and still look at them the same. Thank you for that gift Reed Brooks and for crushing on me in spite of all of my stray hairs.